Blue Butter

 With so much reality on TV these days, it’s hard to not be left speechless by the time the closing credits roll through on some of these shows.We all have our favorites and we all have those that make us cringe.  The most distasteful of the bunch are the soon-to-be brides who allow cameras to film the final days before the vows are said.  These women are on a mission to be part of the season that goes down with more distaste than the season before.  I’m always shocked that these bullies have so many family members and friends who are willing to be ridiculed, disrespected and forced into doing things they don’t want to.  Those who have the misfortune of being a part of these train wrecks endure behavior that borders on abuse.  And, as what seems to be the case in so much of our society, these miserable women are rewarded for their bad behaviors.  I say “miserable” because to me, it seems as though their self-esteems are low enough to feel as though they have to dictate every detail - regardless of how irrelevant it is - so that everyone else around them can’t possibly enjoy it because it’s so much more fun to play the pitiful, overwhelmed and victimized bride.  It’s the old case of allowing a miserable person near you to ensure your own misery surfaces.  It must be excrutiating to be a part of a wedding that should be a loving, sacred and sentimental ceremony but amounts to nothing more than one entitled person doling out every anti-marital emotion at every stage. 

I have to tell you, it would take about two seconds for my best friend to belittle or humiliate me before I stood up and said, “Hold it, Sunshine…that dog don’t hunt.  I can go home and not look back.  We’re best friends and if you can’t remember that, then you need to replace me…right now.”  Then again, I don’t have friends who would ever behave in such a way.  Further, my mom would take me by the ear and drag me to the side, just like when I was a kid, and say something along the lines of, “Young lady…this will be your own warning.  Don’t make me cause a scene in front of your friends.”  Again, just like when I was a kid. 

On what level did this become acceptable behavior to the point of it being marketed and shown on TV as “entertainment”?  Most of these brides are in their early twenties and have found themselves with their ten minutes of fame, only to end up making total asses of themselves.  And the grooms?  Why aren’t they having a say in the way their future wives speak to their mothers and sisters or any of his friends?  I don’t understand that either.  Frankly, I am more than a little frustrated with their passive natures.  If these days before their weddings are indicative of the lives they’re about to attempt to build, these guys are in for one rude awakening after another.

I also wonder about the reactions post-wedding, when the couple is back at home, setting up house and view the episode for the first time.  Are they as horrified as everyone else at their behavior, or are they disappointed they weren’t more adamant in their demands of four tapered candles measuring exactly 1.555 inches?   Are they embarrassed by their behavior?  Do these reviews show these spoiled little girls of just how unreasonable they behaved and how foolish they looked?  Do they make up their minds right then to never treat the ones they love in such mean and selfish ways?  Are the newly-martyred hubbies sitting back thinking, “Uh huh she won’t do that anymore.  Maybe she sees how mean she was.”  Again, that’s a huge problem for such passiveness on the part of the other halves. 

For the vast majority who agree to allow cameras in to film everything from weight gain to the need for security guards over some imagined threat from the in-laws, you would think this would halt some of the “spoiled little girl” mentalities they have going into it and for those who are beginning to plan their own weddings and choose to send in videos of why they should be included in the next seasons shows.

In the meantime, the remote control’s trained to keep on scanning right on past any show with any combinations of - brides, nightmare, horrifying, marriage, wedding, disaster.